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The Pansy Show!!!! Friends!!!! Things I Do!!!! WAH!!!! This Is Now RPG Previous Previous
Thou marvell'st at my words, but hold thee still!
Things bad begun make strong themselves by ill.
THE RUMOURS OF DRACO'S AND MY RELOCATION ARE ONE-HUNDRED PERCENT TRUE!!!! MY SOLICITOR BROUGHT THE FINAL BATCH OF PAPERWORK TO ME THIS THURSDAY PAST, AND THE BALANCE OF THE FUNDS REMAINING IN REGARDS TO MY BUY-OUT OF THE BROWN FAMILY'S COMPLETELY INVALID AND RIDICULOUS CLAIM INTEREST IN THE ISLE OF DREAR HAVE BEEN TRANSFERRED TO A TRUST IN THEIR NAME!!!! THE PARKINSON FAMILY CLAIMS SOLE OWNERSHIP OF THE ISLE OF DREAR NOW, INCLUDING ANY AND ALL QUINTAPEDS THAT MAY RESIDE HERE!!!!

DRACO SUGGESTED WE PITCH HIS TENT IN THE HIGHEST BRANCHES OF THE LARGEST, TALLEST TREE THAT WE COULD FIND, WHICH I FOUND TO BE A REMARKABLY CLEVER SUGGESTION, FOR QUINTAPEDS, AS ANY LEARNED PERSON WOULD KNOW, PREFER TO EAT HUMANS RATHER THAN CHAT TO THEM OR PARTAKE IN FETCHING COSTUMES ON BEHALF OF YOUNG FEMALE WITCHES FOR A PENCHANT FOR HIGH FASHION!!!! AFTER OUR SECOND NIGHT IN SAID TREE I REALISED SOMETHING WAS QUITE WRONG WITH IT, FOR I HAVE MET THIS TREE BEFORE -- AT HOGWARTS, MIND -- AND I AM FAMILIAR WITH ITS NEFARIOUS, STALKING WAY!!!!

IT IS A WHOMPING WILLOW THAT DOES NOT WHOMP!!!!


THE ISLE OF DREAR, I SUDDENLY REALISED, IS A RATHER ODD PLACE. AT FIRST GLANCE ALL SEEMS NORMAL AND WELL, BUT THEN YOU REALISE THAT SOMETHING IS NOT QUITE RIGHT!!!! ORIGINALLY, I THOUGHT THIS WAS DUE TO DRACO HAVING OVER-SCRUBBED HIS CAULDRON BOTTOMS IN WORRY WHILST I WAS OUT AND ABOUT DURING THE GREAT KERFUFFLE OF THE WEEKS PAST, AND PERHAPS BREWING DREAMLESS SLEEP THAT WAS A BIT PSYCHEDELIC OFF . . . BUT NOW I AM NOT SO SURE!!!! SEE, THE GRASS HERE IS PINK!!!! AND THE TREES HAVE CERULEAN LEAVES, AND THE SKY SEEMS SEA-GREEN!!!! THE WHOMPING WILLOW DOESN'T WHOMP!!!! THERE IS A TOWN OF NIFFLERS AT THE BASE OF OUR TREE, AND THEY ARE CONSTANTLY BUSY; HOWEVER, THEY NIFFLE TRASH AND JUNK AND RAGS AND COMPOST!!!! THERE'S ALSO A FLOCK OF CORNISH PIXIES ABOUT THAT IS THE MOST HELPFUL, POLITE, ORGANISED, AND SUNNY BUNCH I'VE EVER ENCOUNTERED!!!! IN FACT, WE COULD USE THE CORNISH PIXIES IN LIEU OF OUR HOUSE ELVES IF WE WANTED TO, FOR THEY ENJOY TAKING TEA WITH DRACO AND I EVERY AFTERNOON, AND THEY PROVIDE ALL THE BISCUITS AND TRUFFLES AND TAQUITOS WITH NARY A WORD OF COMPLAINT, AND THEY LIKE TO CLEAN UP AFTER TEA IS OVER!!!! THERE IS A KAPPA IN THE STREAM OVER THE KNOLL FROM OUR TREE AND HE LIKES TO COME TO TEA AS WELL, AND OFFERS US THE USE OF HIS HEAD AS A FINGERBOWL -- HE REFUSES ALL OUR OFFERS OF CUCUMBER SLICES, PREFERRING RATHER TO READ ALOUD TO US FROM THE DAILY PROPHET OR TO CROCHET QUIETLY IN THE ROCKING CHAIR BY THE FIREPLACE!!!! THERE'S A MANTICORE HERE, WHO HAS TAKEN TO EATEN FRESH GREENS WITH ARUGULA SHAVINGS AND LEMON JUICE -- INFLUENCED BY DRACO'S IMPECCABLE TASTE, NO DOUBT.

VERY ODD PLACE, THIS ISLE OF DREAR. OH, AND I'VE MADE IT UN-UNPLOTTABLE, BY THE WAY. IT'S MY ISLE, AND I SHALL SET THE RULES!!!!

DRACO, SHALL WE STAY HERE?!?! I THINK WE SHOULD, FOR I'VE THOUGHT OF THE BEST NAME FOR WHAT WE DISCUSSED EARLIER TODAY:

THE ISLE OF DREAR BONNY WEE BOO HAGS!!!!


I THINK I SHOULD LIKE TO STAY HERE!!!! IT IS QUIET AND HAS ROOM FOR PETS AND CREATURES OF ALL SORTS!!!! WE HAVEN'T ACTUALLY SEEN ANY QUINTAPEDS YET, WHICH MAKES IT DIFFICULT TO CHOOSE WHAT KIND OF HOME WE COULD BUILD, BUT I QUITE LIKE THIS TREEHOUSE!!!! IT HAS ALL I NEED: DRACO, TEA, DRACO, A FEATHER DUVET, BOOKS, DRACO, A VIEW, CREATURES, COSTUMES, COLOURS, A FLOO HUB, AND DRACO!!!! PERHAPS I SHALL EARN THE TITLE OF 'METHUSELAH' PROPERLY HERE!!!!

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Woe, For I Feel: !!!!
The WWN's Playing: !!!!

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MILLICENT!!!!

Woe, For I Feel: sad sad

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HAS ANYONE SEEN SARSPARILLA?!?!


AND MY RUDDY THUMB IS STILL FLATTENED AND THROBBING WITH PAIN!!!! I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS -- PINK IS A LOVELY COLOUR FOR A GUEST SUITE!!!!

Woe, For I Feel: crushed crushed
The WWN's Playing: !!!!

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Well, um, here I am!!!! Back earlier than I expected!!!!

Draco, do you fancy a spot of tea? MY STOMACH IS A BIT SOUR!!!!

Please tell me that you're up to tea?!?!

Woe, For I Feel: terrified

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The trouble with being a princess is, quite simply, one doesn't know what to do with everything one has. Princesses get whatever they want.

Two things.

Easter season is always interesting. My mother used to like to spend the entire month surrounding Easter hiding little gifts and things for me to find randomly; when I woke up and found a pink basket on my night table this morning, I wondered if somehow she'd managed to find me and leave me a gift. There was a pink, porcelain egg, trimmed with gold, in the basket, with the word Cloissane on the bottom, which is apparently French for BOO HAG BECAUSE THERE WAS A BOO HAG IN THE EGG!!!! I HAVE A BOO HAG!!!!

I HAVE A BOO HAG!!!!


Thank you Mrs. Malfoy Mummy!!!! I've decided to call him Reginald, and right now he's tied to a spool of kite string, to the end of my four-poster. He's an exceptionally handsome Boo Hag, I'm quite sure of it!!!!

Secondly, breakfast was terrible. I don't like have my appetite spoilt. Subsequently, classes were exceptionally dreary today. I really don't care for the sound of owl wings; they're excessive and annoyingly . . . flappy.

Anyhow, the trouble with being a princess and having everything one wants is there is always the outside chance that others may not value your possessions as closely or carefully as you yourself do. There is always the chance that should one be unavailable to attend to one's things for whatever reason -- such as travel, dismemberment, insanity, or trauma -- one's things would be left to fall prey to the sifting dust of abandonment, or organic rot, or the decay of time. Often I whisper to my most important things, and encourage them that they are loved, no matter what, and they are free to seek out a new master or mistress if that should so please them. I can imagine who they would choose, given the opportunity. Chuckadonna would of course stay with Luna. I can imagine my zoo of origami animals marching themselves to Theodore, a fetching little circus parade -- all except the raven. The raven would find Boot. My capitalisation quills would hop along the corridors, all the way up to the Astronomy Tower, to Other Professor Mummy. My trunk full of costumes would clomp over to Weasley, just to vex him. Shall I name my angel wings Methuselah? My tiara would seek out Blaise, for he is cultured and elegant. And Reginald would want only Millicent to take him out into the night sky, winding his string longer or shorter. I would think my tent made of sheer draperies, beads, and old lamp bases would inch its way around Slytherin until it found Draco; however, I do believe he's already in there. It wouldn't have to look very far at all. I don't think, though, that Mousey would venture off by himself; he would probably just wait for me to come back.

There is a scratching at the window again. No matter where I go, this owl turns up. I think I shall collect it now.

Even though I really do hate the sound of flapping wings.

Thank you again for the Boo Hag.

Woe, For I Feel: determined determined
The WWN's Playing: Owl wings flapping

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Someone has once again stolen my capitalisation quill, and frankly it couldn't have happened on a worse day. If it were a leap year, on Tuesday my mother'd turn . . . well, I'm not sure actually, seeing as her birthday's the 29th of February . . . she would have seen 28th February 39 times, though, this year. I have a very elegant, floral piece of rice paper, that I thought I could make into a bird for her, but I find that I don't know exactly where to send it off to.

Mother always told me to keep scrapbooks, and I've been pasting in pictures and memories all day, but not much will stick, so I instead tried a different cheering trick she taught me, and re-did my book's colours into very lovely Spring shades, to try and brighten my mood. Isn't it beautiful? Mother was a firm believer that colour and other various aesthetics figure in with our moods quite a lot. When I was in a foul mood as a little girl, my mother would give me box of oil pastels whenever she thought I needed to reconsider my frame of mind.

She bought me a lot of pastels.

Woe, For I Feel: melancholy melancholy

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All right, Weasley?

You didn't . . . did you? I mean to say . . . I didn't. So hopefully you didn't either. Right?

Draco? C'mere!!!!

Woe, For I Feel: excited excited
The WWN's Playing: HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY

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IT'S REALLY TOO BAD THEY HAD TO LET PROFESSOR GRUBBLY-PLANK GO AFTER FIFTH YEAR; I QUITE LIKED THE OLD BIRD, FOR SHE ALWAYS LET US PLAY WITH AND STUDY THE ANIMALS IN CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES, RATHER THAN THAT NEW BLOKE, WHO ONLY LETS HARRY POTTER TOUCH OR VISIT WITH THE REALLY BRILLIANT CREATURES IN CLASS, JUST LIKE THAT HAIRY OAF HAGRID DID!!!! I DON'T THINK THAT'S FAIR TO THE REST OF US!!!! I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU ALL, BUT I'D LIKE MY FAIR SHOT AT SOME HANDS-ON LEARNING REGARDING THE WONDERFUL CREATURES AND ANIMALS THAT GRACE OUR WORLD.

AS I WAS NOT GIVEN A BOO HAG FOR CHRISTMAS, I'VE DECIDED TO SPEND THE TIME BETWEEN NOW AND WHEN I DO GET MY BOO HAG SHARING THE WONDEROUS BEAUTY AND MAJESTY THAT IS OUR CREATURES OF THE WORLD.

BECAUSE I ENJOY MAKING SCRAPBOOKS AND WHATNOT, I ASKED MYSELF, WHY NOT USE MY FANTASTIC SCRAPBOOKING ABILITIES FOR THE COMMON GOOD? SURELY THERE ARE OTHERS WHO LOVE MAGICAL CREATURES JUST AS MUCH AS I DO, AND THEY WILL WANT TO KNOW WHAT I CAN TEACH THEM!!!!

Perhaps I ought not use the capitalisation quill for this; I want my audience base to be as broad as possible, and not everyone likes the capitalisation quill EVEN THOUGH I DO. After much thought and musing on the subject, I have decided to call my recurring presentation: PANSY'S MAGICAL MENAGERIE!!!! When I'm feeling arsed to do so, I will report to you -- my fellow Hogwartians and whoever else is spying here -- directly FROM THE FIELD, which might necessitate illegal Floo'ing and whatnot, but the most important thing about studying creatures is that they may observed in their natural habitat.

For my first presentation, I am sorry to say that I did not choose to come to you live from our debuting creature's natural habitat because this particular creature comes from America, and everyone knows that if you go to America and you are not American, you will be captured and sold into indentured servitude, and that magic is illegal there. Being a Malfoy is about as far into indentured servitude as I'd like to foray (and Mummy, Draco, I don't mean that in an unkind way at all -- it's just that the Malfoy family has so many rules and regulations, not to mention an official code of conduct!!!! It's rather overwhelming at times, especially when I just would rather read Martin Miggs!!!! The Malfoy family is like its own little fiefdom!!!!)

Our first amazing creature is, as mentioned, from the United States of America; if it weren't intrinsically dumb, it would know the United Kingdom is a far better natural habitat than the states. Anyhow, this creature dates back to pre-historic times and continues to fascinate the world at large through its fetching social behaviours and unique goring techniques.

LET US MEET . . . Collapse )

Woe, For I Feel: INFORMATIVE!!!!

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PIGS IN A BLANKET!!!!

Woe, For I Feel: hungry hungry
The WWN's Playing: WHOA!!!!

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YOU KNOW IT'S REALLY NOT ON TO LEAVE A GIRL BEHIND IN DIAGON ALLEY ON BOXING DAY WHEN THE FLOO HUBS ARE ALL CLOGGED AND THE ONLY OPTION IS THE KNIGHT BUS!!!! I HATE THE KNIGHT BUS!!!! IT SMELLS LIKE ROLLING SICK AND SMELLY FEET!!!! IT WAS VERY, VERY WRONG TO HAVE BEEN LEFT TO THE KNIGHT BUS, YOU KNOW. THAT SHUNPIKE BLOKE LIFTED MY SKIRT AND PEEKED AT MY BLACK SLIP WITH THE RUFFLES, AND THEN ASKED IF HE COULD FIRE-CHAT TO ME SOMETIME. I HOPE THE LEEKS GROWING OUT OF HIS EARS NEVER GO AWAY AND THAT HE'S COVERED IN TATTY SPOTS FOR THE REST OF HIS REPUGNANT, GROTTY LIFE!!!!

Last night's party was quite brilliant. Luna, you were not home when I tried to Fire-chat to you, or perhaps you were sleeping. Parties are always so taxing, you know. I could have used a bit of a reprieve; however, you are perfectly within your rights to not be at home and available for chats at all hours of the day. I would have invited you, but I'm absolutely positive you would have not been available, and see? I was right!!!! You weren't available after all!!!! So all's well that ends well.

Anyhow, I was showing Chuckadonna the massive Christmas tree, and I thought of something (likely because I was looking at a set of hand-blown glass poodle ornaments). It was brilliant to sort ribbons with you this Tuesday past, but ribbons are finite. Eventually the spool will always appear. Aren't most things finite? Nothing can be assured of being infinite. That's why it's so calming to sit and sort ribbons, because even though things are never finitie, there is that one moment, that one slice of time, where everything is just so. Inevitably there comes that second of intrusion, though. That tiny split-second of knowledge, that things will not always be just so, even though one might like them to be, and one is left with a rather foreboding sense of finitude hanging over one's head. I wonder then, what to do? Is it better to have sorted ribbons at all, or to never to sort ribbons and not know about the spools underneath? I cannot say. But I thought about as I sat under the Christmas tree, watching my most recent mother get pissed, my other mother sparkle and shine and chat, and thinking of . . . my mother.

All right, Theodore? I was surprised to see you chatting to . . . all right, then? Really? He's just not very talkative, is all. So it was surprising to see him . . . talking?

Christmas was brilliant, and I received many nice things. However, there were only two things I really wanted (except for the beautiful gifts Draco gave me, which OF COURSE I WANTED!!!!), and neither were under the tree this year. So I built an igloo from the gifts I did receive, and hid there for several hours, scheming and plotting, and I think I've come up with a way to procure at least one of the items I desire. Naturally, I have to prioritise, and whilst the second item is more appealing on a personal level, the first item involves honour and duty, which must always come first.

Draco, Blaise, Millicent, Theodore, Luna, Ron Weasley, Boot, and Professor Snape, I expect your received your holiday origami? Boot, I included a new chrysalis for you.

Oh, and Brown? Fancy seeing them there last night. How outrageously brilliant!!!!

One thousand galleons to the person who draws and quarters Stan Shunpike on my behalf!!!! I'M TOTALLY SERIOUS!!!!

Woe, For I Feel: contemplative contemplative
The WWN's Playing: Draco Napping

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